To be succinct: I paint God's mistake.
Until 1995, my understanding of error was still very limited. I assumed that error was "sin that was evil" and that God was without error. That changed when I was given a message during a paranormal moment. I was told GOD IS FORGIVEN and I wasn't even thinking about God. My research since then has been to unravel the meaning and feeling of that phrase. Each piece of art that I create is an expression and communication of this provocative concept, and how it is relevant to time, human morality, and mortality.
HOW IT STARTED
My confrontation with innocence appropriately began at the naïve age of 8 after my very first piano lesson. As I rode my bike home, enchanted with the magic of my musical beginnings, my soul suddenly opened to a dimension of TIME where I was communing with something much greater than myself. I remember my absolute awe. One could say I was paralyzed by its splendor, yet I never stopped riding my bicycle. As I returned to my surroundings fear began to grip me. I remember saying, “Oh, I hope I am good enough!” A different part of my mind that had not witnessed this event asked me, “Good enough for what?” I responded with “I don’t know” suddenly recognizing my commitment to invest my entire life toward something that I did not understand.
THE VALUE OF ERROR
What I didn’t understand was how error could be valuable. True Error is unintended loss; which manifests as our mortal existence, and our moral crisis. Our mortality is not the intent of death, but our personal destiny is annihilation. As conscious individuals we are descendants of a broken existence; a dichotomy where each of us is innocent of creating our mortal destiny, but vulnerable to condemning our connection with others who “created us to die” without our permission. Our “error” is our ownership of blame for mortality, which is not the power over death; it is our power over cruelty.
So, why paint about God is Forgiven? Why not carry this forward with its musical association? Actually, I do through my work www.insidethemusic.com. However, when dealing with God’s mistake my tools of communication must also include my visual art to symbolize error that is created as a backwards cycle, not a forward cycle like music. I use the ancient medium of 2-D paintings/sketches because of their fractured reality to our conscious observation, and their well-established place in history. Like the backside of a hung painting we are all absent/invisible before our birth and brought into reality through “the others” who made their mark on our canvas of life already. We are separate from them and unknowing about the value of existence until they choose to birth us and give us presence that is visible. Once born we become a witness to the presence of our previous absence and our mortality. We become a witness to the eternal divide in life; TIME AS MOTION with its hidden backside as well as its obvious front. We are the moving witnesses that give Life its presence and awareness of the unknown because we are all born from this never-ending absence.